The following is a story written by Anon. Mr. Anon is my most favourite author of all time so I have been waiting for the chance to slip one of his stories into one of my blogs.
The Little Boy and the Promise of a Good Job
There was once a little boy who wanted a good job. He wanted a job that he would be happy in and that would provide him with enough money to ensure that he would live comfortably, having spent most of his life without much money at all.
Random Adult, one of many adults who constantly told the little boy what he should do, said, “Go to school little boy, get good GCSEs so that you can go to college or Sixth Form. You need qualifications to get a good job.”
To which the little boy replied, “Okay, Random Adult, I will do that.”
So the little boy went to school and eventually gained enough GCSEs to get into Sixth Form College. By the time he had done this he wasn’t little any more.
As he was about to start his A-Levels, Random Adult told the boy, “Go to Sixth Form boy, get good A-Levels so that you can go to university. You need qualifications to get a good job.”
To which the boy replied, “Okay, Random Adult, I will do that.”
So the boy went to sixth form and eventually gained enough A-Levels to get into university. By the time he had done this he was more of a lad than a boy.
As he was about to start his degree, Random Adult told the lad, “Go to university lad, get a degree so that you can get a good job. You need qualifications to get a good job.”
To which the boy replied, “Okay, Random Adult, I will do that.”
So the boy went to university and eventually gained a degree that he thought would get him a good job.
But, when the lad went to get a good job he was confronted by The Man, that is the person who decides who has a good job and who does not.
“You can not have a good job,” The Man told the lad, “You should have been working. You need experience to get a good job.”
And so the little boy had wasted his time on education.
That’s just a little tale to show how sorry I’m feeling for myself at the moment. Nothing like a bit of good old self-pity to start an exhilarating blog with eh?
Since I have graduated I have found it quite hard to find a job that puts my degree to use (like most graduates unfortunate enough to be part of the class of 2009), so I’ve basically written this to inform anyone who cares that I’m going to carry on writing my blogs soon. My plan is to pick one story every week and blog about it. I may even write more often if there are enough stories for me to draw inspiration from. You may know that I have made such plans before and they have not happened, partly because of uni work and partly because of laziness. But the former excuse is no longer a problem, and I am, paradoxically, working on the latter – surely working on your laziness must prove that you aren’t actually that lazy?
This is all a small (but crucial) part of my big plan to ‘stick it to The Man’ and get that good job the little boy was promised by Random Adult (there’s a perverted sentence if ever there was one). Other parts of the plan include working on my CV, signing up to almost every graduate recruitment website going – along with mainstream ones like fish4 and Monster – and emailing the Huddersfield uni careers department for advice, as well as talking to everyone I know who may be able to help me in my ‘Good Job Hunt’, or, as I like to call it, my ‘Gojoh’ – it has a nice Japanese feel to it.
Argos have been kind enough to take me back, so I am working there as a Delivery Assistant for now. While doing this is by no means a ‘bad’ job, it is not ‘good’ in the ways that I want it to be, mainly in that it is not putting to use my most expensive purchase to date – my degree.
So while I’m working there I will be building up my portfolio and then eventually sending out speculative job applications to various media organisations.
If you have any advice for me whatsoever, I would love to hear it.
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